The secret of NLP

The therapeutic model of Neuro-linguistic Programming was born in the 70s in the United States by a mathematician, Richard Bandler, and a linguist, John Grinder.

it can be incorporated within hypnotic and cognitive therapies, and its basic premise is not to be founded on philosophical, humanistic, or doctrinal references typical of various psychotherapeutic currents, but rather on a deliberate pragmatism not bound to any theory.

The basic belief is that what we think is not necessarily what it is. The map is our thoughts, our way of seeing the world, and the territory is the world and external reality. A famous NLP statement is: “the map is not the territory.”

In NLP (as in Gestalt)

The problem is considered the result of a relational interplay between various elements. Each of these contributes to and is an expression of the problem, without thereby “to be” (for example, in NLP the expression would not work "The problem is you!").

There is therefore a transition from a linear-causal perspective, in which A implies B, to a system perspective, in which one prefers to speak of “problem space”, in which the person for whom the problem exists becomes aware of the relational connections in which he is involved and which generate the problem itself, in such a way as to be able to distance himself from them and place himself in the “solution space”.

By taking back his share of responsibility for creating the problem, and above all by focusing on the possibility of being able to do something to change the situation.
You can't pass through “problem space” to that of the "solution" if you don't experience the perceptual positions useful for that transition.

– First perceptual position: coincides with the perception of objects experienced as foreign to oneself, I imagine that the person who finds himself in this position can easily affirm "The problem is you!"This position involves the absence of reflection and the use of the cause-effect principle.

– Metaposition: When a person comments on their own actions, when they name their feelings, when they see themselves doing something, in short, when they reflect on what they do. It is the position of the critical self in which one can recognize oneself, thanks to a distance that allows one to see oneself and become the object of language.

– Second perceptual position: It coincides with empathy, it is that movement thanks to which we are willing to go into the other's position and experience the world from there.

The encounter with the other happens through the interpretation of the other's signals. In NLP, it's important to know from which position and from what information we build our interpretation of the other.

– Third perceptual position: is that of the psychologist, understood as an external observer, not directly involved in the relationship. It is a third-party point of view that focuses on the relationship between the two, rather than the perspective of one of them on the other.

– Fourth perceptual position: One no longer positions oneself as an external observer, but seeks to understand the relationship from within. The relationship must be encountered.

Example: A teacher might relate to a student based on a profile drawn up by a previous teacher. In this profile, the student is depicted as poorly motivated, rebellious, and rude.

The teacher-student relationship will most likely be shaped by the bias the teacher adopts when reading the profile (First Perceptual Position).

The teacher could also choose to make mutual introductions. Furthermore, they can build a relationship with the student day by day, based on what emerges rather than following a predefined script.

The fourth position therefore takes leave of judgment. What's interesting isn't discovering what the relationship is like, what interlocutor A and interlocutor B are like; what's relevant for the fourth position is understanding them.

The key to understanding is not interpretation, but rather inhabiting the relationship, "dwelling in that distance from the other thanks to which the response of both actors reveals itself and thus constitutes their identity."

How does NLP help a person get out of the first “autistic” position and move through the other positions until they reach the fourth position?

Through a technique that, in my view, is very close to Gestalt's "empty chair technique."

The NLP expert guides the person in exploring their own position, that of the other. He makes them imagine “what would happen if…”, “how would you feel if…” and “how would the other person feel if…”, etc.

The person, enriched with all this information, even if only imagined, places himself in the physical space between A and B, that is, in the space of the relationship. “from within”. Become the relationship, and imagine having A and B on either side of you, expressing how you feel, as a relationship. Furthermore, they recognize their physiology and their bodily reaction being "between" A and B.

At the end of this whole process A returns to the initial space (first position) and tests what happens now from there and what the difference is with the initial state, it will also move on to the second to test the differences from this perspective too.

It's just when you think you're in "checkmate"that we're often stuck in the first perceptual position, and only by experimenting with the transition through the various positions are we able to glimpse the solution we never would have imagined before.

If you want to understand how these tools are used in a structured process: psychotherapy in Florence.