When anxiety rises, the question is always the same: how do I make it go away? And it's a legitimate question, as long as it's clear from the start that there are two answers, and they need to be kept separate.
There's what works now, in the minutes when arousal is high. And there's what works over time, meaning what reduces how often anxiety shows up. Confusing the two is the most common mistake: many things that calm you down immediately, if repeated over and over, make the problem bigger.
In the acute moment
Lengthen your exhale
This is the most effective technique and the most misunderstood one. You don't need to breathe deeply and quickly: that worsens hyperventilation and therefore the symptoms. What you need is to exhale longer than you inhale: breathe in counting to four, breathe out counting to six or eight, for a few minutes.
This isn't just suggestion: prolonged exhalation activates the parasympathetic nervous system, the one that slows the heartbeat. It's one of the few direct controls we have over the autonomic nervous system.
Anchor yourself to the present
Anxiety lives in the future. Bringing your attention back to the here and now interrupts it. Plant your feet firmly on the ground and feel the floor. Mentally name five things you see, four things you can feel by touch, three things you can hear as sound. It seems trivial and it works precisely because it occupies the mind with something concrete.
Use cold
Rinsing your face with cold water or holding something cool in your hands produces a rapid physiological change and shifts attention away from the symptoms. It's fine as an occasional tool, not as a ritual.
Move, if you can
Anxious activation prepares the body for action. Walking briskly for a few minutes gives that energy somewhere to go, instead of letting it circulate uselessly.
Name what's happening
Telling yourself “this is anxiety, it's not dangerous, it will pass” reduces the secondary alarm — the fear of the symptoms themselves — which is what turns a peak into an escalation.
What calms you now and makes things worse later
This section is the most important one, and almost no one writes about it.
Avoiding. Skipping the meeting, not taking the subway, cancelling dinner. The relief is immediate and total, and that's exactly the problem: it teaches the brain that the situation really was dangerous and that a risk was narrowly avoided. Every avoidance makes the next one more likely and shrinks your territory further.
Constantly seeking reassurance. Asking for the tenth time “do you think I'm okay?” calms you for a few minutes and shifts the ability to self-regulate onto someone else.
Monitoring your body. Checking your pulse, searching for symptoms online, monitoring your breathing. This increases selective attention to bodily sensations, which is the fuel of anxiety.
Safety objects. The anti-anxiety pill in your pocket that you never take, only going out with company, sitting near the exit. These act as crutches and prevent you from discovering that you would have been fine anyway.
Alcohol. It reduces anxiety in the moment and increases it in the hours that follow, once the effect wears off. It's one of the fastest ways to turn one anxiety problem into two.
What works over time
Reducing avoidance, gradually
This is the cornerstone of every effective anxiety treatment. Instead of jumping straight into the most feared situation, build a ladder and climb it one step at a time, staying long enough for the anxiety to come down on its own. This is how the brain learns that there was no danger.
Learning a structured relaxation technique
The Autogenic training isn't an exercise to do when you're feeling bad: it's a daily practice that, over time, lowers your baseline level of activation. The difference compared to emergency techniques is that it acts on the threshold, not on the peak.
Fixing your sleep
Sleep deprivation directly lowers the activation threshold: you become more reactive and more easily set off. Regular schedules, less caffeine after the early afternoon, no screens in the last hour before bed. It's boring, and it's among the things that make the biggest difference.
Moving regularly
Regular aerobic physical activity has documented effects on anxiety. It doesn't require peak performance: it requires consistency.
Working with your thoughts, not fighting them
Trying to “not think about it” backfires and produces the opposite effect. The useful approach is different: recognize the catastrophic thought as it happens, and check it instead of automatically believing it.
Understanding what anxiety is signaling
This is the part that no technique can replace. Anxiety that keeps coming back insistently is almost always telling you something: a situation that isn't working, an unheard need, a limit that's been exceeded. In Gestalt work, this is the central question.
What about natural remedies?
An honest answer: some substances have a mild relaxing effect, others have no documented effect beyond placebo. The real point is different. No remedy, natural or pharmacological, changes the mechanisms that maintain anxiety: avoidance, control, rumination. They can accompany a path, not replace it.
If you're considering a supplement or medication, talk to your doctor, not a search engine.
When techniques aren't enough
If the anxiety has lasted for weeks, if it leads you to avoid things you'd like to do, if it affects your sleep, work, or relationships, or if panic attacksappear, management techniques alone aren't enough: they help you get through the moment, not change the bigger picture.
If thoughts of hurting yourself or not wanting to be here anymore appear, don't wait: talk to your doctor right away, go to the emergency room, or call the 112.
Frequently Asked Questions
How to calm anxiety quickly?
Prolonged exhalation, sensory grounding in the present, movement. These are the fastest and most effective tools. None of these eliminates anxiety permanently, but all of them reduce the peak within a few minutes.
How long does it take for a moment of acute anxiety to pass?
An intense peak generally subsides within twenty to thirty minutes, even without doing anything. The tail of physical activation can last longer.
Does breathing into a paper bag work?
This is a widespread but discouraged tip: it can be risky if the symptoms have a different origin than anxiety. It's much better to work on lengthening the exhalation.
Can anxiety be eliminated completely?
No, and that's how it should be: a certain amount of anxiety is useful and protects us. The realistic goal isn't to eliminate it, but to bring it back to a proportionate level, so that it stops dictating our choices.
Why does anxiety get worse in the evening?
Because the distractions and tasks that keep our attention occupied during the day fade away. It's the moment when postponed thoughts all show up at once.
A journey in Florence or online
If anxiety has become overwhelming, you can contact me for an initial introductory session. I receive in my office in Florence, at Via Tommaso Campanella 5, in the Campo di Marte – Coverciano area, and online.
You'll also find how to understand if you suffer from anxiety, the difference between anxiety and stress and what to do during a panic attack.
Quando le strategie immediate non bastano e l’ansia torna sempre, un percorso per l’ansia a Firenze permette di lavorare su ciò che la alimenta.
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